we are supermodern we are retroactive we are automatons
we are individuals we are whispers we are all you hear.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Sans Serif Name Drop

Hello, Internet.

We have to have a chat. Not the kind of shorthand, acronym/abbreviation orgy of misspellings and insults you are used to. No, this chat demands your attention and doesn't flash by you in a flicker of one-hundred forty characters or less. So let's get down to it: you demand too much of my attention for such little payoff. I sit in front of your glowing tubes and peruse your many, many catalogs of vapid entertainment, top 10/15/20/25/100/150 lists, your articles that appear to have been written after several tumblers of rum.

And I hate every time I click my mouse on a snippet of text, underlined and in hyperlink blue (or purple, on an especially mundane day). I hate having a favourites bar with text that would have worn away, were the buttons real for how often I press them. I especially hate how I know there is a far deeper secret than I see on your surface. I know there are glorious places in the folds of your skin, and underneath that skin but I can never find the right path to them.

And your ability to 'connect' my peers and strangers? It is fueling our disconnection. Forgive me for being a hypocrite, old friend, but you are disease, spreading virally. Your spread and influence are creating a shockwave of malpractice in your users. You allow marketers to attack us with their wired ads, popping over and under and up, infiltrating the corners of our eyes with their banners promising naked women or fast cash.

I cannot stand your willingness to say whatever comes to your mind. I am not one for self-censorship - your target audience doesn't need to accept your statements for their reception of the information you bear is the unwielding reason of your being - but when you reduce yourself to becoming a puppet for those speak with no worth you become a useless entity, a fox with broken legs and a shaven pelt. Step up, my friend. You have more importance in you than to be an advertiser's Elysium.

You have many useful tools, I will never refute this fact. But you need to organize yourself in such a manner that these tools are on clear display, so I can use them when I need to. Take your translating sites, your magazines, your games and your (archaically illegal) downloads, and organize them. Make yourself into a suitable figure, one that is shaped from x to y to z on neverending axes. You will thank yourself for it. You digg?


  1. um omfg somazing ltts lmao
    kttyl fibbers

  2. lol moe,
    omgwtfbbqsauce this is teh pwn will, wtg!!!

    but in all seriousness made me think on a deeper level.