we are supermodern we are retroactive we are automatons
we are individuals we are whispers we are all you hear.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Four Part Epic: Miniscule Features of the Universe

I'm gonna be honest, my life is pretty fucked right now.
WARNING: everyone needs to complain, and isn't that what blogs are for?

Wasting a year (and $15000) of my life in a school I don't dig seems like a pretty shitty move. The concept of regular university just destroys me. I can't handle the variations in the teaching styles, the complete lack of one-on-one. The professors don't give a shit about the students (save my Spanish teacher; she's a sweet deal) and it generally feels like they want everyone to fail, and if I have to rip off my arms and legs to pay for this shit, I want some fucking empathy.

That's why I don't care that I'm failing my English class. I was going to major in that, but what can you do with a BA in English besides watch porn and masturbate over old books all day.

I need out of this, but I gotta stick around until the end. Nothing like a big black mark on your transcript AND your bank account to really fuck you over.

An apartment is the ultimate freedom. You move in, make it yours with art and decoration and your personal layout of belongings, and then spruce it up even more with some empty Chinese food containers and greasy pizza boxes. The more beer you spill on your floor, the more it feels like a home.
I miss having a home.

I want a job. This city is so hard to get a job in. Fucking recession. How can we pay for our school if we can't get a job? Oh, wait, we need schooling to get a job? Well, fuck you cycle.

I've been waiting for American Apparel to call me back for almost two weeks now. I don't know if that means I wasn't hired or what the fuck, but getting this job would/will change my life. Any job would be nice, but this one would leave me coming in my pants all the way down to my Nike high tops that hurt my right foot (it chafes or something, makes my baby toe go asleep and I wonder if it's going to fall off).

I want a (fake) leather jacket.
I want a pair of (unnecessarily) large (fake) glasses.
I want a (real) beard.
And lots of scarves.

Then, after I get those (except the beard: that could take years), I can work on my tattoos. But that's for another day.

There's a party tonight. See you there.

1 comment:

  1. So this morning, while taking a quick gander at my facebook, i see the link to your blog so i decided to check it out. It must have been around 6.30 am when i started, and i just sat here and read through the whole thing.
    you're a great writer and you have a way with words, but you know that.